There’s a new kind of parenting trending — the “mess around and find out” approach. It’s sold as strength, as firm boundaries and tough love. But beneath the tone, you can feel something else. The tightness. The exhaustion. The quiet grief of parents who are stretched beyond capacity and just trying to survive the day. This isn’t bad parenting; it’s the sound of nervous systems crying out for rest and connection. Maybe what we need isn’t more control, but more compassion — for ourselves and for the children who are learning from the way we soften.