Millennials & Gen Z, Motherhood, and the Beautiful Burden of Cycle-Breaking
There is a quiet revolution happening in the parenting world. Many Millennial mums (and dads) are the first generation trying to raise children differently while tending to their own unhealed hurts in real time. Surveys show that Millennials and Gen Zs lean hard into emotional literacy, mental health conversations, and a more open, reflective style of parenting, distinct from how many of us were raised. Lurie Children's
And the research is catching up with what you may feel in your bones - that ultimately healing our inner wounds helps. Parents who address trauma and stress patterns tend to be more present and less reactive, which supports secure connection with their kids. Psychology Today
And there is hopeful evidence that “cycle-breaking” matters for children’s outcomes across generations, with longitudinal data showing different mental-health trajectories in families who interrupt the transmission of maltreatment. BPB A 2025 review on intergenerational trauma also highlights how parents’ wellbeing and empowerment can buffer risks for the next generation. ScienceDirect
At the same time, the pressure is seriously real. Many of us are doing this deep work without the village our nervous systems long for. Recent studies and commentary note that while younger parents are embracing “cycle-breaking,” they are also navigating conflicting advice, shifting norms, and public debate about approaches like “gentle parenting,” which is only now receiving early empirical attention. New York Post
So if you are parenting and healing all at once, you are not imagining how heavy and holy this feels. You are carrying your child and your inner child together. AND I am here with you.
Why embodiment beats perfection
Perfection lives in the mind and embodiment lives in the body. When stress rises, your autonomic nervous system shifts state, and that state colours your story, tone, and choices with your little one. When you can sense your body’s cues and come home to ventral vagal (calm and regulated) steadiness, you make room for curiosity, play, and connection.
Our systems also have a negativity bias, which means they scan for threat more than they register safety. Learning to notice “glimmers” and actually feel them for 20 seconds or so tones the nervous system toward safety and connection. That matters for you, and for the atmosphere your child grows up inside. When things feel hard, reaching for co-regulation with a trusted person, or even imagining their warm presence as you breathe, helps transform distress without pretending it is not there.
And when the waves keep coming, the ABCs of Somasoul somatic processing give you a map you can use in the middle of mum-life:
A — Awareness & Acknowledgement: “Hello sympathetic system, I feel you. You are trying to protect me.”
B — Being with & Befriending: soften around the feeling, breathe, and let it be here long enough to be met.
C — Connection, Compassion, Curiosity: invite support and gently ask your body what brought this up and what would help right now.
These are body-first practices.
The double load of Millennial mums
Millennial and Gen Z parents report prioritising mental health conversations and adapting on the fly. That is beautiful AND it is also labour intensive. Many are navigating cost-of-living stress, online judgement, and changing expectations at school and home, all while trying to parent more consciously. Large parent surveys in 2024–2025 capture the weight and constant recalibration families are doing. Parentkind
Media noise can amplify perfection pressure. Even as “cycle-breaking” trends, coverage often swings between praise and critique of modern methods, which can leave parents feeling like they are always getting it wrong. You are allowed to be imperfect and still deeply attuned. Macalester College
From a somatic lens, that pressure itself is a cue. Tight jaw. Shallow breath. Racing thoughts. Anxiety. These are invitations to come back into the body and choose presence over performance.
A simple, embodied way to keep going
Try this tiny gentle practice when you feel stretched thin:
Name your state. “I notice urgency in my chest and heat in my face.”
Find one glimmer. Sun on the pram handle. The weight of your baby’s hand. Let it register for 20–30 seconds.
Co-regulate. Text a safe person or picture them beside you. Or connect with something stable in nature. Receive one breath of their steadiness.
Choose the next kind thing. Sip water. Step outside barefoot. Soften your shoulders. Allow yourself to ground again so you can meet what is here.
Repeat as many times as needed. Let “good enough” be the ground you stand on.
The promise beneath the pressure
Intergenerational research is clear that change is possible. Interrupting old patterns can alter the lived expereince for our kids, and for theirs. And Millennials are uniquely positioned, culturally and digitally, to access language, support, and tools our parents often did not have. Lurie Children's
But you do not have to be a perfect, perpetually calm mother to offer something profound. What nourishes a child most deeply is the embodied presence of a mum who can return to herself again and again, messy and honest, willing to repair. Each small, felt moment of safety you cultivate is a thread your child can lean into.
Glimmer by glimmer, breath by breath, you are already doing the work.
If this piece resonated, you might love my somatic guides and practices designed to help you come home to yourself in motherhood.
Explore both free resources (including a Glimmer Tracker) and deeper paid guides to support your nervous system, soften overwhelm, and reconnect with your body’s wisdom.
