What Matrescence Really Means - The Emotional & Physical Transition into Motherhood

Matrescence & IdentityEmbodied Motherhood

20 Aug

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence is a term first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s[1], yet many mothers still haven’t heard of it. It describes the complete transformation that is physical, emotional, hormonal, and social, that occurs when a person becomes a mother.

Think of adolescence: rapid hormonal shifts, brain rewiring, new social roles, and identity changes. Matrescence is a similar metamorphosis, but instead of moving from childhood to adulthood, you’re shifting from who you were before to who you are as a mother[2].

This transition isn’t just about the weeks after birth. Research shows matrescence can last months, years, or even decades, evolving alongside your children[3].

My Own Matrescence Story

I had heard the word “matrescence” before my babies were born, but I didn’t truly understand it until I was living it. When I finally grasped its meaning, it was like a lightbulb moment. Oh my gosh… this is what I’m going through.

It felt like adolescence all over again. Disorienting, emotional, and full of identity shifts. Knowing there was a name for it brought comfort. It reassured me that what my body, mind, and heart were going through was a normal transition.

But even with that understanding, I still felt incredibly alone and confused.

I was deeply in love with my babies (obsessed with their little faces, their smell, their sounds) yet, beneath that joy ran an undercurrent of anxiety. My body and nervous system were depleted. I felt like I was meeting myself and my body for the first time again.

The fatigue was relentless. I never had the space to fully rest or tend to my nervous system in the way I truly needed. My relationship with my husband shifted too, not because of a lack of love, but because my identity and focus was changing so dramatically.

If I could go back, I would tell myself: Go gently. Go lightly.

I’d also have brought my husband into the conversation about what was ahead, so the shifts wouldn’t have been such a shock for both of us. It is also what inspire me to write What the Non-Birthing Parent Often Misses (But Needs to Know)

Why Matrescence Feels So Intense

The changes of matrescence aren’t just in your mind, they’re deeply physical too:

Hormonal fluctuations after birth affect mood, energy, and emotional regulation[4].
Brain changes — MRI studies show structural changes in the maternal brain that enhance bonding but can also heighten emotional sensitivity[5].
Nervous system shifts — hypervigilance, anxiety, or exhaustion can be the body’s way of adapting to protect and care for your baby[6].
Identity reformation — letting go of who you were before while figuring out who you are now.

When all of this happens without adequate rest, support, or cultural acknowledgment, it’s no wonder so many mothers feel overwhelmed.

Somatic Support for Matrescence

Somatic therapy, which is the practice of listening to and working with the body, can be a lifeline during matrescence.

Simple body-based tools can help:

Grounding practices to calm the nervous system (e.g., feeling your feet on the earth while taking slow breaths).
Sensory awareness to reconnect with your body when you feel disconnected.
Gentle movement to release tension and reconnect with your physical self.
Co-regulation with a supportive partner, friend, or community to help your body feel safe again.

Why We Need to Talk About Matrescence

Culturally, we prepare for birth but rarely for the huge identity and nervous system changes that follow. When we name matrescence, we normalise it. We give mothers language for what they’re feeling and permission to ask for what they need.

If you’re a partner, friend, or family member, know that matrescence is not “just hormones” or “baby blues.” It’s a profound transformation. Meet it with presence, patience, and practical support.

Its Messy and Sacred

Matrescence is not something to “get through” quickly. It’s a process to be honoured. It’s the making of a mother, layer by layer. It’s messy, beautiful, exhausting, and sacred all at once.

And like adolescence, it’s not something we’re meant to navigate alone.