Numb, Flat, Exhausted: Motherhood Can Feel Heavy
Motherhood is often described in extremes: joy, love, exhaustion, worry. But sometimes, it’s not about anxiety or panic…it’s about feeling flat. A quiet numbness. You show up, you move through your day, but something inside feels disconnected.
This flatness is often misunderstood as laziness, disinterest, or even depression. But from a nervous system perspective, it’s a protective state what we might call dorsal shutdown. It’s your body’s way of keeping you safe when overwhelm, exhaustion, or past trauma feels too much to fully inhabit.
Protective Patterns in Flatness
When the dorsal system engages, the body literally “shuts down” to protect itself. Energy, sensation, and emotion are muted. This is not a personal failing, it’s a pattern that has kept you safe before, and may still be doing its job.
In motherhood, it can show up as:
Feeling “checked out” or disconnected from your body
Struggling to feel joy or excitement, even for your children
Moving through the day on autopilot
Difficulty connecting with others or your own needs
These patterns often develop early in life, as a response to stress or overwhelm, and our nervous system leans on them when modern motherhood feels too intense.
Meeting Flatness Through the Body
Somasoul and somatic approaches invite us to meet flatness with curiosity, not judgment. Some ways to do this:
Notice where your body is quiet: Which parts feel heavy or numb? Can you bring gentle awareness there without pushing?
Allow micro-movements: Tiny stretches, rocking, or even just rolling your shoulders can signal safety to the nervous system.
Reconnect with sensation: Touch, smell, taste. Grounding yourself in sensory experiences can help the body come back online slowly.
Name the protective part: “I see you, body. You are keeping me safe.” Even acknowledgment can shift the energy.
Moving Back to Presence
Unlike anxiety, which can push us into over-activation, flatness is a retreat. It is a way the body conserves energy and shields us from overwhelm. The work is about gentle invitation to create safety, offer movement, and awareness, and allowing the system to slowly re-engage with life.
Motherhood can be relentless, and it’s easy for dorsal shutdown to take hold. But when we approach numbness with compassion, we can start to inhabit our bodies again and feel small sparks of connection, pleasure, and vitality that remind us life is still moving through us.
Continue Reading
Embodied Motherhood: Rediscovering Your Body on the Journey of Becoming a Mother
Motherhood, Guilt, and the Myth of Getting It Right All the Time
Sleep Deprivation in Motherhood: How Exhaustion Affects Your Nervous System & Parenting
Why Taking Care of Your Body and Nervous System is the Greatest Gift to Your Child
